Marry Me and Margaritas
This is the story of how I accidentally convinced my boyfriend that I was a witch, set myself up for a near heart attack, jumped out of an airplane in Mexico and got down on one knee.
If someone had told ‘lil 7 year old Kendra that I would be the one to propose marriage one day to the love of my life, I would have giggled and thought they were insane. I was and still am and always will be a huge Disney fan, and I knew how fairy tales worked:
The handsome prince would do some heroic gesture, rescue the princess, and they would get married and live happily ever after. Boy was I wrong on pretty much all those accounts.
For starters:
I have learned that most truly romantic and heroic gestures come in humble packages. Like being the first to say sorry, being honest when it's uncomfortable, or supporting your partner's dreams even when they seem nuts.
Yaaa, the only person that can rescue me is me.
And... sometimes you marry the wrong person and do not live happily ever after with them.
I’m not going to elaborate on my first marriage, but when I got divorced one thing I knew for sure was that:
If i ever got married again I wanted to be the one to do the asking this time round.
So when I did fall in love with a magical man named Mark, and we had lived together for a couple years, I woke up one day and I just knew that I wanted to lock dat shit down.
Now, Mark and I had never really talked about if or when we would get married, but I was like 99% sure he would say yes. It was pretty clear at that point to me and everyone around us that we were soul mates. But that 1% was still really scary, and Mark can be an unpredictable dude.
One thing I had heard Mark say a couple times was that proposing should be a surprise, he would get annoyed at couples that did the whole pick out the ring together thing and then do a ‘surprise’ proposal. He said that was cheating. So I knew whatever I planned had to surprise the hell out of him.
I started to make a to do list:
Ask both of our families for their blessing.
Get him an engagement ring.
Plan an epic surprise proposal.
I have to tip my hat to the many men and some women out there who have planned and executed a proposal. Holy moly I had no idea how difficult and nerve racking it could be.
Although I had all kinds of nerves about Step 1, that ended up being the easiest. Both of our families thought it was just wonderful (and maybe a little hilarious).
Step 2, was much trickier.
I found a ring I loved on Etsy that featured wood and meteorite. Mark is a big fan of trees and the stars so I contacted the seller. They immediately asked for his ring size and I was like, ohhhh riiight did not think about that. They said they would send me a bunch of metal rings in various sizes to try on Mark... but how the hell was I supposed to do that without him catching on?
This is when I decided I needed to enlist the help of his two best friends that also live in LA. I had already talked to them about wanting to propose to Mark, and I asked one of them to take Mark out, and make sure he had plenty of beer so that he would be sound asleep that night.
Despite his friend’s best efforts, Mark came home that night only slightly tipsy, to my immense disappointment. Normally it would have been a pretty simple task but like I said, Mark is an unpredictable guy.
But I had to get that ring size!
I waited until he was snoozin’ like a lil baby, and very very slowly slipped the largest ring on his finger. It was massive. One down, 5 to go. I tried the second one on, but just as I was about to get it over his knuckle, Mark woke up. I quickly rolled over with the ring hidden in my hand and pretended like I was having a dream. Sleepily he rubbed my back and went back to sleep. I let out a massive sigh of relief, but damn, mission NOT accomplished!
A week or so later I tried again. Unfortunately home boy started stirring before I could even get his finger in the right position to try one of the rings on. I was exasperated, and frustrated, so I gave up. I guessed a ring size based on the first test one I had been able to try on him, erring on the side of too big, and sent it to the ring maker. I figured at least it would go on his finger when I proposed, and we could resize it later.
So on to Step 3.
Mark is an adventurous guy, and we share that in common. I started to think of exciting ways to pop the big question. We are also in a folk band together where we create quirky fun music videos from our adventures and travels, so I really wanted to get video footage of the proposal. Then it hit me.
Skydiving! It was the perfect cover.
I could be as nervous as all get out, and he would just think it was because we were about to jump out of a plane.
People have videographer’s jump with them with a Go Pro all the time, so he wouldn’t be suspicious of us being filmed.
It would be epic Braaa. (Also we had both already gone skydiving separately before, so I knew it would be a fun experience. I don’t really recommend this idea unless you 100% know the other person would be into willingly leaving a perfectly working airplane, via potentially hurtling to their death).
So what was the destination?
That year Mark and I had spent a few days in a little town called Sayulita, in Mexico. It is this magical surfer party village about an hour outside of Puerto Vallarta. In Puerto Vallarta itself there is a rad skydiving company called Skydive Vallarta, where the drop zone is right over the ocean, landing on a beautiful beach.
I went to the company’s website and booked tandem jumps for both Mark and I, along with a video package. I then picked up the phone and gave them a buzz so I could explain that I was going to propose when we landed on the beach. Unfortunately there was a bit of a language barrier, and I wasn’t confident they had fully understood my elaborate idea, but fingers crossed.
Everything was going to plan. I invited a few of Mark’s closest friends to join us on the Mexico trip. I had them pitch the idea to Mark and I one night, and he was down for the friendcation. A couple days later I had everything planned and booked down to the bar and restaurant we would celebrate at, after he (hopefully) said yes. And best of all Mark had no clue as to what was going on.
Or so I thought.
Thank goodness I didn’t find out about this next part until after I proposed, or I may have chickened out.
One night amidst all of my scheming and planning, Mark invited his best friend over for a musical hang out while I was away on a work trip. Keep in mind that Mark’s BF knows about the upcoming proposal.
A couple brewskies in, Mark turns to him and says, “I got something strange to talk about”.
He then goes on to explain that a few weeks ago he woke up in the middle of the night, and I was fiddling with some kind of metal ring and his finger, but then I appeared to be having a crazy dream. He completely forgot about it until the same thing happened again a week or so later.
Mark’s best friend tried to keep a neutral face and asked, “Huh, what do you think about that?”
Mark then started telling him about how I have all these herbs in jars in the kitchen that I sometimes use to make incense and oils, and that there are all these other ‘witchy’ things around the house. As he gave a tour around our home of all my ‘witchy’ things, he said he had never thought much of it but that maybe I was some kind of secret witch and was doing a weird love spell on him.
To which his best friend, God bless him, is like:
“Dude, I think you’re right, she’s totally a secret witch.”
And they continue on with their beers and song making, and apparently Mark completely forgets about the whole thing.
Next thing you know we are in Mexico having a blast with our friends.
I tell Mark I planned a fun activity for us the following day, and to wear comfortable clothes. He IMMEDIATELY tries to figure out what the surprise is. By this point I am getting very nervous. Ahem, 1%.
I get up early the next morning and take a yoga class to calm myself. I run through my little speech as I’m showering and getting ready, and check about 15 times that the ring is in my purse.
In the taxi ride to the sky diving spot Mark is rattling off guess after guess on where we might be going. We pass a big billboard advertising the very sky diving spot we are headed towards, and I see his eyes go wide. As we round the corner and the building and sign come into view he shouts “I knew it!”. He gives me a big kiss and says it's an awesome surprise and he can’t wait.
So far so good.
We get into the building and Mark says he has to go pee. I tell him to go while I check us in.
Mark is a really fast pee-er so I knew I literally only had like 60 seconds to figure this situation out. I sprint over to the desk where the owner is and in one breathe rattle out my whole plan. It is clear that this proposal is all new news to him, but he snaps into motion.
He can clearly see the panic on my face and grabs my hand and says, “Don’t worry, it will be perfect, give me the ring I will make everything perfect.”
I quickly hand over the box and start to feverishly ask questions, but he puts his finger to his lips and whispers “He coming now, it will be magic don’t worry.”
The last thing I whisper back as Mark comes out of the bathroom is, “He’s fluent in Spanish, so be careful what you say to the other guys”. I get a wink and a pat on the hand.
This guy is my new hero. If Mark says no, maybe I’ll just marry him.
As Mark and I get fitted for our harnesses and go through the safety training, I see the owner take a few guys into the back room. They all emerge moments later all winks and smiles.
They come up to us and the owner says. “Okay, here is the plan, I will be jumping with the senorita and Mark you will be with my good friend, and we have two camera divers jumping too.” Perfect I think, that means I will land on the beach first and have time to get ready to put a ring on it.
Aaaand cue butterflies.
After a quick van ride to a nearby small airport, we make our way towards the security line. The other guys take Mark through first, so the owner has a chance to take the ring out of the box and get it through security without Mark seeing it.
As we are about to get on the plane the camera guys start asking us if we are nervous. I’m like, YUP I’m pretty freakin’ nervous. Mark is already having a blast.
In the plane after take off, the owner yells over the noise that me and him will be jumping first, then Mark and his guy. Mark looks over at me and seeing that I’m sweating bullets, hollers out that he can go first, to which the owner quickly makes up some excuse having to do with the weight balance velocity, of why I have to go first. Again, hero.
As the owner triple checks my harness hooks and starts hopping us towards the gaping open hole in the side of the airplane, I realize I have done just about everything possible to set myself up for a heart attack. My chest feels like it’s about to explode.
But I don’t have much time to panic about the plummet to certain death or the proposal, because next thing I know we are out of the plane and my lungs are emptied. My stomach is inverting and the world is tumbling all around me, and then all of a sudden I am a bird.
The free fall part of skydiving is just unreal.
The first 5 seconds out of the plane are hell, but then there is no sensation of falling, just floating in the sky with a LOT of air in your face.
Our shoot opens (sweet!), I look up to see Mark’s shoot open, and then everything goes peaceful. Now I have about 5 minutes to enjoy the beautiful ocean view and hype myself up for the big moment.
The beach below us has sparkling white sand that almost looks like diamonds from way up where we are. My new hero tells me that as soon as Mark lands I will only have about 30 seconds to do the proposal before we have to clear the landing area.
Wellp, I guess I am going with just the last line of my speech. Our landing is smooth as can be, and as soon as our feet hit the ground he unhooks me and hands me the ring box that was in his cargo pocket, and says:
“Good Luck!”
I turn to see Mark also land perfectly right on the X mark in the sand. My heart is pounding and I feel like I am in a dream, but as soon as he is unhooked I snap out of it and run up to him, followed by the camera divers.
His long blonde hair is blowing in the salty wind and he is whooping and cheering about their perfect landing. I give him a quick kiss and then put my hand on his chest and tell him I have something to say.
He gives me a look like, what in the heck could you possibly have to tell me right in this moment, I’ve barely made contact with earth woman.
And so I take a deep breath, and tell him that
falling in love with him has been the most beautiful experience of my life.
I get down on one knee, shakily open the box and say:
“Will you marry me?”
The look on Mark’s face is pure shock and confusion. He says:
“Wait, are you proposing to ME?”
I just nod, eyes wide.
And thankfully, he throws his hands up, laughs, and says “SURE!”
Sure. He said sure. And now ‘sure’ is officially my favorite word in the english language.
We kiss, there is much cheering from all around us, and many high fives. I put the ring on his finger, and it is huge on him (LOL, whatevz.) More kisses and high fives, and then we are hurried off the landing strip so as not to die 1 minute into our engagement.
Mark and I were all adrenaline and giggles, so the first thing we did was go to the nearest bar and get a margarita. I asked if he was surprised, he said surprised was an understatement.
On the taxi drive back to Sayulita to celebrate with our friends, we called our families and told them the good news. We also called Mark’s best friend back in LA, who then told me about the witch story. I still to this day cannot believe that not only did Mark come to the conclusion that I was maybe a witch, but that he was just cool with it, and never felt the need to address the issue. Now that’s love.
Today Mark and I have been married for exactly one year.
Even with the current state of the world, and the crazy past few months, I can honestly say it has been the most magical and blissful year of my life. I am one lucky girl.
Like I said, MAD props to everyone out there who has been the ‘proposer’, that shiz is stressful. But so worth it if it means that like me, you get to marry the love of your life.
I do hope it becomes more and more comfortable and normal for women to also be the ones to propose. Ya know, if that’s your thang and what not.
And to help with the stress of it all, and the celebration of it all, I now present you with my Spicy Skinny Margarita recipe!
Cheers to love, and cheers to my love. Happy Anniversary Mark.
If you would like to see the short video of our skydiving engagement, make yourself a quick Marg and then click here!
The Perfect Spicy Skinny Margarita
Ingredients:
1.5 oz (1 shot) of your fav Tequila. (As long as it is 100% Agave, trust me. You can thank me tomorrow.)
2 Limes
¼ of an Orange
1 - 2 teaspoons Agave Nectar
Cucumber
Serrano Pepper (Can use a Jalapeno as well)
Ice
Sea Salt (Optional)
Soda Water (Optional)
Cut your two limes into halves, and then slice off one thin wedge of lime for garnish. Squeeze the rest of the limes along with your orange slices into the cocktail shaker. Slice three cucumber rounds, and 4 thin slices of serrano pepper (no seeds!). Save two slices of cucumber and two slices of serrano pepper for later, and add the rest into the shaker. Add the tequila shot and a couple cubes of ice into the shaker and shake shake shake baby.
Take your chosen glass, and if you like it salted, lightly rub the remaining lime wedge around the rim, then tip the glass upside down and swirl in a plate dusted with sea salt.
Chop one of the remaining cucumber slices into cubes and place at the bottom of your glass along with one of the thin pepper slices. Add in your ice, and then pour the magical liquid from the shaker. Top off with a splash of soda. (I usually use whatever can of La Croix we have in the fridge, just make sure it is a complimenting flavor such as lime, grapefruit, orange, or passion fruit).
Make small incisions to the lime wedge, cucumber slice, and pepper slice. Place them all together on the rim of your glass as a garnish.
Cheers!