Rings and Roasted Root Vegetables

I have five rings I wear every single day. Each one has a significant meaning, and I find myself not only looking at them because I love their appearance, but also to draw strength or inspiration in certain moments.

My High School Ring:

I grew up overseas in a country called Azerbaijan, age four to seventeen. Where in the heck is that? It is a small little country on the Caspian Sea that boarders Iran, Georgia, Armenia, and Russia. With the exception of a few years here and there, I was homeschooled my entire life. It was great! I was valedictorian, prom queen, class clown, and hands down the most popular kid in my class ;)

But all jokes aside my parents took my schooling very seriously, and poured much of their lives into equipping me with a well rounded education.

My Mama is a music major, so she tackled math, science, piano, guitar, singing, cooking, sewing, and really anything else I showed any interest in.

My Papa has his masters in English and Literature from Harvard, so he was my history, writing, and English professor, along with Greek and Latin, creative writing, and religious studies. He also got me hooked on running.

For the subjects my parents couldn’t teach me they found amazing tutors. I was so lucky to be able to take Ballet, Gymnastics, Hip Hop, Art, Russian and Azerbaijani classes every week.

Even though I was homeschooled I had plenty of friends.

Some of them were X-Pats like us that I met through gatherings or our homeschool co op, others were locals I met through my dance classes and neighborhood. And of course I have two amazing younger sisters, that were and are and always will be my best friends. Bottom line, I was never lonely.

But when my friends who went to the private english speaking school would whine to me about how lucky I was not to have to worry about grades because my parents were my teachers, I would roll my eyes. My parents did not go easy on me with the grades.

If I didn’t get an A on pretty much everything I would have major social privileges revoked. I’m a very extraverted and social person, so needless to say I did my very best to get straight A’s.

After my epic and intense adventure, I met back up with my family for the summer, before I started college in Seattle in the fall. I was very anxious to spend more time with my new baby brother and my whole family.

As one of my graduation presents my parents got me a beautiful sapphire ring. I remember just staring at it non stop for like a week because it was just so pretty. I was 18 then, and I haven't really taken it off since.

I look at it sometimes when I need to be reminded of where I came from, and the important lessons I learned during those formative years of my life.

My College Ring:

I did not like college. Honestly those were some of the hardest years for me in a couple ways. I feel bad saying that because I was insanely lucky to have gotten the scholarships and loans I needed to be able to attend (Ahem, thank you mama and Papa for making me get straight A’s!) And my parents were endlessly supportive in every way.

The main reason I didn't like college was because I did not know what I wanted to study until I was already a year in. When I realized that music was and always would be my passion, I instantly wished I had selected a school that was better suited for that path. Also, as those of you who have majored in music know, it is no joke. The amount of credits and required extracurricular activities you have to do leaves very little time for sleep or any fun, especially if you are also working.

The other reason I wasn’t a fan of those years is probably because I was going through MAJOR culture shock.

It was not only my first time living on my own very far away from my family, but also my first time really living in North America. I had spent chunks of time in the States over the years, but I always knew it was temporary, and that I would be back home in Azerbaijan afterwards. College was different. Nothing about this country made any social, cultural, economical or spiritual sense to me.

I remember the first time I went to the grocery store (a Safeway). My parents had opened up a checking account for me and given me a debit card. I had of course seen them using a debit card many times, but I had not yet used one myself. I selected some items I needed: Black tea, sugar, and a small jug of milk. I then went to check out, and when the lady rang me up and told me the total I was horrified. There was just no way milk could cost that much.

She insisted the total was right, and so I let out a big sigh and settled in for a good old bargaining match.

Thanks to the markets and bazaars in Azerbaijan, I was very good at haggling.

“Okay”, I told her. “I will pay full price for the tea and sugar, but only if you throw in the milk for free.”

Blank stare. I turned to the person behind me in line for encouragement rolling my eyes, then tried again.

“Fine, how bout I get two cartons of milk for the price of one.”

To which she started rattling off a lot of sentences having to do with how she didn't have time for jokes and nonsense and that I was holding up the line. I told her I wasn’t trying to make a scene and was being perfectly reasonable, but it was no use.

Luckily my dorm mate happened to be in the line behind me and came to the rescue.

“It doesn’t work that way, Foreigner” she said, giggling. I felt embarrassed and confused so I just pulled out my card to pay. After a few beats of her watching me look back and forth from the card machine to my debit card, she finally took it and swiped for me.

On the way back to our dorm my roomie and new bestie explained a few things to me, in between fits of laughter.

The nickname Foreigner stuck for the next 3 years.

Once I made some friends the college experience got better, and my family decided to move back to the states that year, which meant they would at least be on the same continent as me. Being able to see them on the holidays really got me through those years.

But I still just really didn’t like it and was beginning to question why anyone goes to college unless they want to become a doctor or lawyer or something. I decided why drag out the experience for 4 years. It made more sense to me both money and time wise to just cram everything into 3 years and get it over with. I had to petition the Dean of the school to allow me to take that many credits, but he did. However I quickly realized it would be near impossible to complete all the music requirements in that amount of time and keep my grades up, so as to not lose my scholarships. But hey, I managed to finish college in 3.5 years, and that was good enough.

My family was so supportive and proud of me when I graduated. That felt really nice. They got me my second ring. I helped pick it out and it features a black onyx stone, which I think is symbolic of those years of my life.

I look at it when I have a task that I really don’t want to do, and need a quick pep talk.

My Divorce Ring:

During my college years I got married to a guy I had met during my Sri Lanka/India trip when I was 17. Turned out he lived in Vancouver, which is only a 2 hour drive from where I was going to school. I had just turned 20 when we got married, and after a separation we filed for divorce when I was 25.

Do I wish I hadn’t gotten married so young? Yes, for sure. But I don’t regret the relationship, and have nothing but good vibes towards him and his family.

But divorce is really hard. Even if you are the instigator, and even if it ends amicably, it is still hard.

I was living in San Francisco when I got divorced. I found a little loft in the Lower Haight that was straight out of Alice in Wonderland or a Tim Burton film, and I loved it. Looking back now I realize that is the first time I ever lived alone in my entire life, which is crazy.

That season was both incredibly difficult and also really wonderful.

It was wonderful because I had successfully gotten out of an unhealthy relationship, and was free to be myself and pursue my art. Suddenly the world was full of hope and wonder again.

It was challenging because I was alone for the first time, barely being able to afford rent and food, and processing my failed marriage. I also felt incredibly guilty for the hurt I was putting my family and friends through. Divorce is hard on everyone.

I know I couldn't have made it through that time as gracefully as I did without my friends and family. My best friend was there for me 24/7, always lending an ear and making sure the fun never stopped. And my sweet sisters both came down and stayed with me in the city for the periods of time when I was feeling lonely.

When I went home for Christmas that year my family made sure it was the best Christmas ever. Which is hard to beat because in my home the holidays are pure magic, jam packed full of homemade food, decorations, games, outings, and too many traditions to list.

On Christmas morning I opened the gift from my parents (really from the whole family). It was the most beautiful ring yet. I couldn't believe how perfectly it went with my other two rings. My parents said it was to replace the one I had taken off and given back that year, and to remind me of how much they love me. And cue the waterworks.

When I look at this ring I know I am never alone, and that family comes first.

My Engagement Ring:

I met a magical man named Mark in San Francisco in 2014. He Lived down the street from my loft in the Lower Haight, and we met at a little open mic between our two apartments, and started creating music together.

We formed a folk duo called Mark & Miss, and traveled the world creating music and videos. Of course we fell in love along the way and ended up settling down together in Venice California, where we currently live.

As you may have read in one of my earlier blog posts, I proposed to Mark. It was really important to me that if or when I finaly found my soulmate, that I was the one who did the asking this time round. Lucky for me he said ‘sure’, and we have been blissfully married for a year now.

Mark is the kind of guy that I always hoped existed, but didn’t really believe was possible until I met him.

He somehow makes me feel completely free and independent but also cherished and taken care of, all at the same time. Anyone who knows Mark knows what a gem he is.

Mark is also the kind of guy that while finding it awesome that I was the one to propose, decided he wanted to do the asking as well.

A few months after we were engaged we went on an epic trip to Morocco. We trekked through the Sahara desert by camel back, dined under the stars, slept in regal yurts, and watched the sun rise and set over the golden sand. We even shot a music video documenting the magical journey.

We also spent a few days in an enchanted village up in the hills called Chefchaouen, otherwise known as the Blue City. The entire city is coated in various pastel shades of blue paint, creating a whimsical and stunning effect.

After a day of shooting another music video in the winding streets to our cover song ‘Blue’, Mark re proposed to me.

It was Valentines’ day, exactly 4 years after our very first date.

When we got back to California, Mark and I picked out my ring together. So…. I’m not a huge fan of large diamond rings for a few reasons:

Diamond sourcing can be super sad and sketchy. You have to be really careful and do a lot of research if purchasing them.
They cost so much money, and I’d rather put that towards something else than just bling on my finger.
I kinda think the whole ‘Diamond Engagement Ring’ tradition is a massive racquet that was invented by old white dudes in advertising so they could make hella money. But that’s just me, I honestly hold no judgment to those who have massive rocks on their fingers. And vintage rings are the best, diamond or no diamond.

So Mark and I picked out a ring featuring a moonstone as the main gem. When the light catches the stone it shimmers a periwinkle color, which reminds me of our City of Blue in Morocco. The Moonstone is also known as the traveler's gem, opening the heart to new horizons, and is also one of my birthstones.

I am still mesmerized by this ring. Its appearance shifts and changes with the time of day, the light, and the temperature. But when I look at it one thing is always constant…

…that my partner in adventure, creation, love and life, adores me to the moon and back.

My Wedding Ring:

Mark and I decided to have a wedding in Italy with just our two families. We really wanted to have all of our dear friends and relatives at our special day, but everything about throwing a big wedding made no sense to us. Just entertaining the idea stressed us out, and one thing we knew we wanted was a stress free experience for everyone involved. Both Mark and I are incredibly close with our families, and we decided at the end of the day all that really mattered to us was that we got hitched and that they were there.

We had fallen in love with Italy the year before on one of our trips, and decided it would be the perfect spot both financially and experience wise to take our families to.

In April 2019 the 15 of us met up in Rome, and so began what was easily the best week of Mark’s and my life.

We knew our families would love each other, but it was so cool to see them meeting for the first time and instantly hitting it off. A handful of days were spent in Rome taking in the impressive historical sites, exploring the city, and popping into charming cafes to sip prosecco or chianti.

A couple days before the wedding we all hopped on a train and headed to a villa a few hours outside of the city. This amazing spot called La Cucina Sabina is one of the reasons we picked Italy for our wedding.

Most of the year the villa operates as a cooking school for chefs to get away and learn authentic Italian cooking. During certain months the villa is available to book for special events such as weddings. Located on a beautiful farm, the villa comes with a private chef that cooks all of your meals featuring produce from the farm, and wine from the next door vineyard.

It was essentially a turn key wedding. They took care of absolutely everything from the reception food, drinks, and cake, to booking the nearby castle where they arranged for us to have the ceremony.

It was perfection, and there was not one moment of stress.

The days were filled with happy tears, beautiful toasts, long walks through the olive orchards, sing-alongs around the grand piano at night, and oh so much delicious food.

For me our wedding day started off with finishing my wedding vows, a leisurely run through the vineyard, brunch with the family, and a long bubble bath. I decided to do my own hair and makeup, and spent the afternoon getting ready with my sisters while watching Mama Mia. After putting on the final touches, and champagne toasts with all my ladies, my beautiful Mama helped me into my dress.

The winding streets through the village up to the castle were too narrow to get a car through. It had started to drizzle a bit, so my Papa and I grabbed an umbrella and started our 15 minute walk up to the castle to walk down the aisle. We chatted as we walked, admiring the quaint village and treasuring the special moment together. As we wound our way up, villagers opened their windows and blew us kisses and well wishes, and declared that the rain was good luck.

As the castle came into view and the countryside faded off into the distance, I truly felt like I was in a fairytale.

My brother and sisters helped me with the final wardrobe touches and then the music started, the castle doors opened, and I saw Mark.

He was literally glowing, standing there in his white linen suit. I had never seen the castle until this moment, the stone walls were a golden hue, and the sun coming in from the windows bounced off lighting everyone up like fireflies.

I couldn't stop smiling at Mark for the whole ceremony. Mark’s uncle married us, we shared our vows and then exchanged rings. After our kiss, and many more kisses and hugs from everyone, the sun came out as if on cue.

We bursted out into the beautiful Italian spring day to take pictures, and I looked down at my wedding ring.

The night before Mark’s sweet mother had given a toast, and pulled out an antique ring box. She explained that the ring belonged to her grandmother, Mark’s great grandmother. She was a musician and singer as well, and she wore the ring on her pinkie finger.

My soon to be mother in law said that she wanted me to have it. I was so touched, and incredibly honored.

The ring is stunning, and is very similar in style to the three rings my parents gave me over the years. Most amazing of all, it fits my left ring finger perfectly.

The rest of our wedding was a beautiful haze of smiles, tears, toasts and dancing.

The whole day was really too precious to describe in words, but you can watch our wedding video and experience it for yourselves.

Our photographer and videographer company Inesse, truly did an incredible job capturing the day.

That night as we drove away towards the train station to take the night train to Sicily for our Honeymoon, I looked at Mark and told him we had to go back to the Villa. In the rush of the send off I hadn’t really had a chance to say a proper goodbye to everyone. We were already late to make our train, but we told the driver to turn around. As we ran back up the path to the villa we saw our families all hugging, when they turned to see us sprinting back towards them we all burst into tears. It was such a beautiful moment.

Mark and I made our train after all and settled into our little cabin. Our hearts were so full of love and glowing from the whole experience, that we could barely speak.

Every time I look down at my wedding ring I am instantly filled with that same overwhelming feeling of love.

Love from Mark, but even more so, the love from our families.

To be honest it was hard to pick the perfect recipe to go along with this post. So I decided on one of my favorites to make around the holidays:

Roasted Root Vegetables.

This recipe is pretty simple and is the perfect family dish. Every time I make it and the aromas of rosemary come wafting out of the oven, I instantly think of holidays and family, and how incredibly lucky Mark and I are to have both of ours.

Ingredients:

Sweet Potato (1 Large)
Yam (1 Large)
Parsnips (3)
Carrots (2)
Garlic (6 Cloves)
Onion (1 Large)
Thyme (Fresh, about a Tablespoon)
Rosemary (Fresh, about a Tablespoon)
Salt (To taste)
Pepper (To taste)
Cayenne (1/2 a Teaspoon)
Honey (About a Teaspoon)
Olive Oil (3 Tablespoons)
Butter (3 Tablespoons)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Peel the sweet potato, yam, parsnips, and carrots. Chop into chunks, roughly 1/2 an inch in size. The carrots tend to take longest to cook, so I make them a little smaller. Chop up the onion and garlic, and finely mince the fresh rosemary and thyme. You can use dried herbs as well, but fresh is always best. Combine all of the veggies and herbs into a big bowl and then add in the salt, pepper, cayenne, honey, and olive oil. Stir it all together in the bowl until the veggies are completely coated. Depending on how large your veggies are, you may need to add more oil. Taste test one of the carrots and add more herbs and salt/pepper as needed or wanted. Pour the mix into a vey large casserole dish. You can use a pan as well, just make sure you grease the pan or spray with olive oil first. Bake for 30 - 45 minutes, or until all the veggies are cooked through. About halfway through the bake I like to take the pan out, add the butter in small chunks, and then stir it all around before putting it back in the oven. Garnish with a sprig of fresh rosemary for flare :)